Episode II: The Quest for Ivan
Powerful Cleric... until he got tanked and denounced his god in a drunken stupor.
Edward was your average human cleric. At 29 years of age, he stands at about 5 feet 10 inches tall, with short cropped jet black hair, and a short trimmed beard. He wears scale mail, and wields a spiked mace and shield.
His armor and shield are still emblazoned with the god whose grace he lost: Tyr.
Things were going great for Edward. He grew up the only son of a privileged house, and was the shinning star of his temple. No acolyte has ever excelled so far beyond expectation, or shone as bright. His adventuring career is a list of saved innocents, routed evils, and he landed a prestigious post in the large fort town of Evergreen. There he single-handedly routed the local thieves, and created law and order in what was once a struggling mercantile hub. At 29 years old, he was the pride of Evergreen, and the highest authority of Tyr in the region.
Then the kidnappings began.
No problem. Gathering his traveling gear, and donning his weapons and armor, this was to be just another heroic notch on his belt. One of many, and another heroic footnote is his very illustrious career as a Cleric of Tyr. He followed the trail towards the local mountains, where ogres appeared to be the cause. Delving further in, he discovered a ceremony was to be held, and the kidnapped villagers were integral to this, and would aid in opening a “spirit portal”. But how to free them with… wait? Was that a bar?… Is that a Kobold… bartender? He had to investigate further.
He soon discovered that that kobold’s name was Gred, one of six brothers who supply spirits, and their services to mix them, across all the realms. Gred was extremely charismatic, and one hell of a bartender. In fact, the drinks he served were of a quality that Edward had never sampled before in all his life! But, now was not the time to drink. There were villagers which needed him! He would go and stealthily…
… What’s that, Gred? One more drink? Well, I suppose just one more wouldn’t hurt.
one hour later…
Gods those drinks are delicious… BUT THE QUEST! The villagers! The Ogres haven’t noticed him yet, and if Edward could only… What’s that Gred? You told the Ogres that I’m with you, and that it’s okay? How does… never mind, that’s amazing news! With this cover, I could then… celebratory drink? Well, you did just give me an “in” to the Ogres caves, so why not!… why is this drink sizzling…
3 hours later…
So you see Gred, you can’t be afraid to, to LOVE your fellow man… even if that man IS a human hating Ogre. You… you see that ugly one over there? No, the other one, with the scraggly beard… NO the other… YES, that one. He’s been hic doing most of the work… but see how his friends just lay about?! That one Ogre represents honesty and that’s in all of us to… to…
… What’s that bottle with… it almost looks like Tyrs holy symbol… Gred, my god you’re right… I have to have that drink… with Tyrs own brew in my veins, I can vanquish all, and restore… OOoooo, a little umbrella!
6 hours later… and crying in the arms of a Ogre…
That’s it, Grukmsh, cry tha hurt out… Nanka, she shoulda not luft ya for Kriks… yer twice the ugly abomination he ish!… hic… thogh yous smell nicser… and she’ll never know what chu done fer her… Gred. GRED! I need more of that sizzling stuffs fer my man Grukmsh ‘ere and… what do ya mean I drank it all?! NO. GRED. Thish iz importent fer… gods, now I cant stop cryin’… What’s that, Gruk… home brew whazza? Well, I nuver druk outta skull before, but… but this ish for you man… demi-man… whatever… KAMPAI! clink of skulls
13 hours later… and surrounded by drunken cheering Ogres…
YEAH. Thazza right hic… we’re oppressed!
cheers and grunts
I meen, lifes nat fair to ush, man! hic We jis wanna drink, and live… shore izza not right to attack carvans for food… but we gots kids too! Humans, zey do tha same! WORSE! hic were’re no beetter, or worse.. we gots rights!… justice… what za justeece fer us! Screw laws, oppresshun hic, order, it’s in the mind… ILLUSION, zats whut… hic
And. Aaaand ye know what… come closhure… hic Listen… no LISTEN!
drops holy symbol in skull, and chugs to cheers and grunts of the surrounding ogres
Y… YYEAH! Wah-yeah!… I… feel funny… mussht need ’nother ’rink… GRED!